We have never been through this before. The changes, her moods, her physical abilities, the way she responds to me. It's all different now. Its the first time for the both of us, but it's not the same experience.
Our new-age hippy granola shoeless a little to sensuously moaning doula/lamaze instructor did say something profound. It's the birth of a baby, but it is also the birth of a mother. I will add father to that.
It's easy to forget that I will soon be a father. The first reminder of the day is that woman plus one upon arrival from work. I suppose I could pretend my belly is carrying...
We and that other couple are the hoary heads of the group. It really feels like a daytime tv program. A group of women with a captive audience cackling away about horror stories of child delivery (support groups are so wonderful). A group of guys wondering if we can turn the game on. Any game, Please!. Even male syncrhonized swimming!
Oh and Susie, the one with gestational diabetes is drinking the slurpee because her blood sugar is low. This is Mike's and his fiance Jen's first baby. He has said they are going natural. Jen just hopes it will be easy.
Juan, his girlfriend and her mother are attending... well for his girlfriend. He comes from a family of ten children and he has seen it all before. Juan, buy your parents a tv or teach them macrame'. Just keep them away from the bedroom.
Ooh! an object lesson. Ok a clear pitcher of water. The orange liquid is the bodies natural release of endorphins to combat pain. The purple liquid is synthetic pain killers, better known as the epidural.
Ok, pour the purple epidural into the clear pitcher of water. Hey look, purple water. Woudn't have seen that one coming. Now pour the orange endorphins into the pitcher. Whoa! Miniscule darker purple water. What a fabulous object lesson. I have no idea what it means, but I will never forget it.
Did you know that the greatest preventative measure for tearing is....... nutrition.
Like the other contestants you might be surprised to know that its not massage with a special magical lotion potion. Folks thats probably what got you into this pickle in the first place.
If You are concerned as we are, you might wonder what foods contain the anti-tearing nutrition. And the answer:
"Doula - You should try to eat foods in their most natural form. Not like you have to be a vegetarian or anything. Well, you can pretty much eat whatever you want."
Just plain brilliant. G, could you bring Bessy the cow over here. I am going to eat some cow butt in it's natural form.
Tanya stated her concerns about family members wanting to be present during the delivery.
Doula - Did you need your family there when you made the baby? Then do you need them there when the baby is born? Oh and by the way as a Doula, I will coach you and the father at the delivery of the baby
Hmm? I don't remember you there that evening; if you are at the birth of my baby I want a signed contract stating you are not allowed to moan.
G at about 30-31 weeks.
